That'll shut her up
by The Dirtwater Fox
Summary: In training for Hokage, Naruto does a stint as a policeman, and must now hunt down an escaped prisoner. One Shot


Title: Shut up!  
Author: Kou (The Dirtwater Fox)  
Summary: Prisoner roundup with the prettiest potty-mouth you ever did see.

Notes: Lot a swearin' in a small space, you've been warned.

"You God damned son of a bitch! I will fucking kill you do you hear me, huh? Are you listening to me you pint sized little shit?" This had been going on for atleast an hour, and Naruto's nerve was really wearing thin. Tayuya, Prisoner# 002376 - C was a woman of small stature and enourmous mouth. True, several years ago when the Sound Four had first arrived on the scene, Tayuya had been a musician of devestating talent.Now though, fluteless and friendless, she wasn't all that devestating a force - providing one carried earplugs.

Sadly, Naruto had neglected to pick up the simple objects that, in the presence of Tayuya, were the best things since instant ramen. So now he had to listen to her, hour after hour, as he dragged her back towards her suite at the pen. Tsunade had insisted that Naruto have working knowledge of as many different shinobi duties as possible, so he was working for the shinobi police force. Naruto had been a happy hellraiser in his youth, so it galled him to be working for what he had, until recently, dubbed 'Ninpopo's.' Finnaly though, he could take it no more.

"Shut the HELL up, you old ass ugly bitch of a kuniochi!" Naruto was almost happy for a moment, as Tayuya seemed to be shocked into silence. Tayuya was silent not because she had been told to, but because of what Naruto had called her. Tayuya would scoff at the thought of being considered a lady... a lady was some tight assed, boring ritzy bitch that wouldn't know a good time if it bit her on her upturned nose... So no, being chasted for her unladylike conduct was amusing at best, but Tayuya had never once had her looks called into question, and she was sooooo not old. The little midget would die, things had just gotten personal.

"Tell you what, you pint sized, limp dicked, shit eatin', fudge packing little shit," Tayuya began, the look of a predator settling onto her face. "I'll keep telling you things to do, and when you find one you're willing to perform, I'll shut up." Naruto only grouned before turning back away from her and continuing to walk, giving the tether he held her with a sharp tug to get her moving once more.

"Quit yankin' asshole, go fuck a rabid bore while it's on the rag." "Nope." "Bend over and take the shackles off my ankles so I can shove my foot so far up your ass you could likc my toes clean!" "Nu-uh." And so it went, Naruto pulling Tayuya behind him and answering a negative to all her demands, while Tayuya continued to think up all sorts of nasty business for Naruto to do.

"Fuck that bitch of a Hokage in her ancient crusty ass while shoving a fiery poker up your own" "You said that one already." "Did I? Well... Summon one of your ugly toads for-" "That one too." "Oh go fuck Orochimaru" "Hell No." And so it went.

"No... no, no, no, no, no, no! That's absolutely disgusting, and besides which, you're just putting previous ones together now so either come up with something original or shut up!" Tayuya had continued unceasingly over several hours, and shye seemed to have run out of ideas. When she opened her mouth to spew forth yet another 'idea' Naruto gave the tether a sharp tug, causing Tayuya to stumble, her bare foot coming down on a sharp rock hard enough to slice into the heel. "Ow! Fuck me in the ass, that hurt!" Naruto, hearing this, was about to laugh at her misfortune when he suddenly stopped, causing his prisoner to bump into him. "WHat the fuck are yuou stopping for, I don't need your pity," she screeched. But Naruto just grinned as he faced her.

A while later saw a happily smiling Naruto turning a subdued and silent Tayuya over to the jailors. When she had been placed back into her cell, Kidomaru laughed softly. "Have fun out there, babe?" Just to piss her off further, he added injury to insult, and delivered a sharp spank to her shapely posterior before Tayuya got the chance to reply. Instead of the skirmish he was expecting however, Tayuya merely leapt into the air and landed on her bunk with a whimper, settlign herself down delicately and glaring. The Surviving members of the Sound 4 looked at her in confusion, but her warnign glare was enough to keep them silent. "I... don't... want.. to talk about it. Ever."

End.

(AN: -Chuckles- Yeah well, it amused me.)


End file.
